Monday, February 21, 2005

Crash, and update...

I am now finally weaned from Efexor, as of a few days ago. The skips have been extremely bad during the last couple of days, although they are seeming to occur less often today. Perhaps they are slowly disappearing. My mood swings have been terrible, with all the stress of not getting enough tutoring work to cover rent/bills/medical/food, and my computer continually playing up, I broke for the first time yesterday. It had been building up over the past couple of years, with my health continually deteriorating, cutting ties with family, work screwing me around, the unpaid overtime I had to work, and being very angry at myself for not being able to do any honours study in the past few years.

I found out last week that an ex-AL has been offered (and accepted) the position of lecturing CSE1303 part A, the exact subject I lectured 5 times. No-one mentioned to me that they needed someone to do it, and I'm very upset that they didn't ask. Everyone who was organising lecturers/subjects knew I was desperately looking for tutoring work, and not getting enough hours, yet they pick someone who has had no experience lecturing, let alone lecturing the hardest first year CSE subject. *bah* I'm still very angry. Still, I do have the 'head tutor' position for that subject (the faculty decided they did need people to do the AL's tasks, thus they invented head tutor positions, which include all the old AL tasks, except for paying the tutors).

The huge coughing fit also showed exactly how much gunk is on my lungs (fluid), so I need to be much more strenuous in coughing and more consistent in taking my vitamins. I now understand why I've been so exhausted recently - fluid of any kind in the lungs, with or without infection, is horribly tiring. I had noticed it was painful to breathe at times, and simply put it down to costochondritis, and didn't push myself to cough/breathe deeply.

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