Tuesday, February 24, 2004


I'm this close >.< to cracking at the moment. So close to just hiding from the world completely. Pain levels are up, work is insane with tutors dropping out left right and centre (damn SGI for taking them, but of course good for them), and some collegues simply are not doing their jobs, which means of course the conscientious ones have to fix things and pick up the forgotten jobs. I'm getting so sick of workplace politics, and watching people (students, tutors, lecturers, employers and ALs) trying to rort the system in so many ways. Unfortunately, what I've heard about industry isn't any better (no matter what industry you are in). Seems like that is human nature now :-\

I've had recurringly themed nightmares of past situations for the past fortnight. Usually this theme sends me spiralling into depression, but I was already nearly there before they began. Mix in more crap family stuff, worsening health, work pressures and high expectations of everyone for honours and I'm ready to completely give up. I need a long holiday from family, work and honours.

On an up-note, the garden is completely done (for the time being). Veggie garden created, bluebells dug up, mulch laid, watering system out, rocks moved, garden bed created etc. all in one hot and sunny weekend. The bougainvillea needs to be pruned and gradually removed, loads of raking of deciduous trees starting to colour and drop needs to be done, the pond needs to be cleaned, and excavation of spider plant around the pond needs to be completed before we can create a cover to stop the birds eating the now non-existent fish.

This weekend I won't be able to do anything - CAT scan for sinuses, re-dying roots, cooking for a farewell party (family) and going to an engagement is going to take up the whole weekend. Hell knows when I'm going to get some time for honours, let alone head space enough to concentrate on writing papers then programming.

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